I'm a lovely boy!

It started with a protest down the stairs of  "Mom I don't want to go to heaven!"
"Why Ethan?" I asked with caution, as his mind can be sincere or in silly mode.
"I just don't want to! Gramma Ruth is there right now and she can't come back."" Why would she go to a place that she couldn't come out of? Doesn't she know I'm a nice boy?" " Doesn't she want to know me?"

I heard "lovely boy" as he asked because he is!  Who wouldn't want to meet him? Really?
He crawled up onto my lap with tears in his eyes, and I held him tight with tears in mine trying to answer all of his questions.

Ethan is unlike Logan, Logan takes the quick answer and is ok with it. Logan believes it  and doesn't need anymore. Ethan needs every detail ~ doctors, medicine, allergies, ages and the full history. Still he will asks why? why? why? He even asked if because she died at 36 would I ? ( yep he's 5)
Luckily it was in this moment that I giggled as I thought of myself asking a similar question to my dad fearful of course that he would leave us early too.  My dad said " Don't worry you'll be stuck with me for a long time!" ( how lucky we are to still be stuck with him)

I  love how Ethan's mind works, how he yearns to know more. He is very much his dad as Logan is very much like me in this way. I just hope that my seemingly small answers help him better understand this life we are in and not to fear the unknowns of life, heaven and God.



* To each of you my Logan, Ethan and Owen  I know without a doubt in my heart that Gramma Ruth would have given anything to be here to meet you, hold you and treasure you as you grow.*